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Darker and Edgier (and Sluttier)
Characters *Derek *Issac *Samuel * Violet *Amy *Georgia *Ianthe *Nicole *Absinthe *2 Transcript (Suzan is in a group meeting with the rest of the members of VAGINAS.) Suzan: Okay, listen up people! Derek is now a father, so we have to upgrade our image. Ianthe: To what? Suzan: Something darker. (They all gasp.) Suzan: Something edgier! (They are gasp louder.) Suzan: Something SLUTTIER! (They all faint.) Suzan: Okay, okay. I know it might seem weird, but we need to upgrade so we can seem out of style. Amy: Why do we need to go out of style? Doesn't that make us worse fighters? Suzan: No, it makes us better and more intimidating fighters, so nobody would want to touch us. Georgia: Okay, Suzan, you just want this because you're a mother now, right? Suzan: Kinda, yeah. Nicole: Wow, Suzan. It's all about you now, selfish bitch. Suzan: It's not about me! It's about Derek! You know, the person who started this organization! Absinthe: Well, she has a point. Suzan: See, Absinthe gets it! Absinthe: Okay, don't sugar coat it. Nicole: Alright, fine. So where are the outfits? Suzan: Oh, I'll get the outfits, just wait right here. (She runs off.) Ianthe: Oh, this is gonna be good. (Suzan runs back with black, skimpy outfits.) Ianthe: Oh my fucking god... Suzan: I know, cool, right? Ianthe: No, those are the worst outfits I've ever seen. Suzan: Oh, you'll get used to it. Ianthe: I beg to differ. (The girls begin to get into the outfits, in a cheesy 90's dress-up montage.) Nicole: Why...is...it...so...TIGHT?! Suzan: To fit the skimpy-ness quota! Nicole: You know, most of the time I can deal with your bullshit, Suzan. But now...this is too much. Suzan: Well, it's not like you don't come up with bullshit too. Violet: Yeah, I can agree with Suzan on that. Suzan: Oh hey, Violet! I did not know you were here! Violet: ...Fuck you, Suzan. Suzan: All right, we all geared up? (Cut to the girls, sloppily dressed in the suits.) Suzan: Great! Ianthe: I feel violated. Suzan: Well, that's the point. Georgia: So what are going to do with the suits? Suzan: We're going to have a meeting with the DICKS crew! Georgia: With the suits on? Suzan: Yep! Georgia (head in hands): Oh god this is going to be a train wreck. (Suzan and the rest of the gang hop out a window, and head for DICKS HQ. As the run to the door, they're interrupted by Samuel.) Samuel: What's up, Suzan? (pause) Okay...what's with the outfits? Suzan: We're trying for a darker, edgier and sluttier look. (Samuel scans Suzan from head to toe.) Samuel: I see. So you think that dressing up in tight, spandex body suits with utility belts and camel toes will make you seem "edgy" and "dark"? Suzan: Well, yeah. Samuel: *sigh* All right. You can go in. (Suzan runs into the HQ.) Suzan: Hey, Derek! (Derek sees Suzan in the suit, and he gets embarrassed.) Derek: Oh my fucking god, Suzan. Suzan: What, you don't like my suit? Derek: No! I don't! That is completely inappropriate for the baby to see! (Suzan turns from excitement to sadness.) Suzan: What the hell, Derek? Derek: Listen, Suzan. I...actually care about this child! Suzan: What? Derek: Okay, I used to not care about him. But, now that I got to hang around with him, I...really like 2. Suzan: You got to be kidding me. Derek: Hey, you had this child! I could've not even cared this baby, but I didn't. And if you don't care about him...then...I don't think that we can work out anymore. Suzan: ... Derek: I think we should see other people. (Suzan hangs her head down, and walks out the door.) Issac: Damn, dude. That was harsh. Derek: Well, if she can't care for this child, then I can. Issac: That's your choice, man. (Derek sits down back in his chair.) Derek: Hey 2. (2 looks up at Derek.) Derek: Don't worry, 2. Things will be alright. (2 smiles at Derek.) What did you think of this episode? Gross. (1/5) Less gross. (2/5) Good. (3/5) Better. (4/5) Awesome! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:Dick Sticks Category:July Releases